Good thing nothing of importance is happening around the world...
Angry Anchor ‘Could Blow Any Second,’ Network Says
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – CNN, which enjoyed blockbuster ratings for its nonstop coverage of the Casey Anthony case, said today it would cover a future Casey Anthony murder trial “if and when Nancy Grace kills her.”
While network executives were cautiously optimistic about their chances of another murder-trial ratings bonanza, one network source said, “I just saw Nancy in the hall, and she could blow any second.”
Ms. Grace appeared more unhinged than usual on her primetime show this evening, in which she pronounced herself the fourth branch of government.
“There are four branches – the executive, the legislative, the judicial, and Nancy Grace - the prejudicial,” she said, glaring.
Across the country, there were several reported incidents of CNN viewers being severely burned by fire shooting from Nancy Grace’s nostrils.
In other legal news, former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn told reporters, “It’s a good thing I didn’t send that maid pictures of my penis – I could be in real trouble now.”